1. 1. I work at home, which means I can sleep as much as I need to and not go to work every day like some sort of sleep-deprived zombie. Bonus points if work includes sewing a lot and going to conventions sometimes.
  2. 2. I have a house. It is cute, and also contains a cute boy, and some cute babies
  3. 3. I have grown-up things like a regular workout plan and spend time cooking adorable grain-free food. Biscuits are okay on Saturdays.
  4. 4. The only person I make coffee for has entered into a consensual agreement to rub my shoulders and give me hugs in payment (i.e. marriage)

As it stands,  I am a swamp monster and YOU’RE ALL TRAPPED HERE WITH ME. Muwahahahahaha. Now I’m gonna go get ready to make coffee for people who have no interest in giving me hugs. -pout-

EDIT: Yes, I know life with children is not that cute. Yes, I know it is difficult to have time for anything else with children. LET ME DREAM.

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